This morning I awoke in a state of panic at the thought of being home-less tonight. Not for myself, but for Casper. I know he isn't taking this move well. He is seeing familiar objects go out the door and not return. He's seen strangers take things away; perhaps he thinks he's next. He went to the vet on Friday and I think he may be fearing he is destined for more surgery. I try to reassure him with talking, petting and hugging but he is hiding, alternately in an upstairs closet and a box he commandeered that came with assemble-it-yourself plastic shelving.
Today I will be busy with little time to devote to comforting him. My agenda is:
1. Mop the kitchen and bathroom floors. The vacuuming was finished last night.
2. Clean the kitchen sink and countertops. The cupboard doors were done yesterday.
3. Collect all the night lights which we can use in the van.
4. Bring the cot and bedding downstairs.
5. Take a shower and then clean out the tub and sink.
6. Dismantle, wash, and pack the cat's water fountain.
7. Take all the trash to the dumpster.
8. Dismantle the cable TV, phones, and router.
9. Bring my remaining clothes, bath supplies, and cot downstairs.
10. Shovel the porch, walk and path to the street so I can fill the van.
11. Make a trip to the storage unit with the vacuum, TVs, mops, brooms and mailbox.
12. Organize the storage room a bit better.
13. Put into the van: floor insulation, carpet, commode, fridge, curtains, heater, laptop desk, clothes, 100 foot utility cord, water jug, etc.
14. Have dinner with Delly and Jason... and relax while Casper waits for me at the apartment.
15. Return to the apartment to get the microwave, laptop, powerbox, scratching post, litter box, and anything left.
16, Drop off keys to the management office.
17. Return to Delly and Jason's to park for the night and hook up to their electricity to heat the van.
Hopefully, things will go as smoothly as they have so far this week. Monday I will figure out where our next nights will be until our first housesitting assignment.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Dead shoes
I've been letting go of lots of things that aren't working for me. I also let go of some old tennis shoes that had cracked bottoms, toe holes and no laces.
I still have 3 more pairs of canvas shoes. but they are getting soaked in the snow. My friends Delly and Jason came by today to help me move one more van load to storage and asked why I wasn't wearing boots. I didn't have any. So Jason drove home and brought me a pair of warm boots that he doesn't like to wear.
I love them because I can slip into them easily, can walk faster without slipping and falling, and they keep my feet warm and dry. What a great gift!
Friday, February 26, 2010
Today was Moving Day
Because I didn't have to do all the lifting, I had enough energy to take Casper to the veterinarian to have his stitches out; and clean the stove, kitchen cupboards, and fridge components. All I have left to do to clean the apartment is vacuum the carpets, mop the floors and clean the bathroom fixtures. I can get those done tomorrow, a day early.
There are a few things more to take over to the storage unit tomorrow and my friends Delly and Jason have offered to help me. I'll be seeing them again on Sunday evening as they have invited me over for dinner. I'll leave Casper in the apartment and then pick him up to spend Sunday night in the van.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
"The Talk"
Just when I have only one week to pack and load all my personal and business possessions and I'm panicking because I don't know how I'll get it all done myself, my father decides he needs to discuss his funeral and his important papers.
Naturally, this is a difficult discussion at the best of times: talking about when he will die. He feels it will be soon, I think it will be several years. He's doing pretty well, getting around, getting groceries, getting the mail and going to dinner in the dining hall. His comprehension is slow, but at 90 that's to be expected. I think he'll be around for quite a while yet.
I was trying to explain that without Power of Attorney I can't step in and make decisions about his finances - there was a problem with his bank account that I couldn't fix - or his health when he is hospitalized. His wife still has Power of Attorney for him and she doesn't want to relinquish it. I'm not sure what she is thinking since she has given Power of Attorney over her affairs to her eldest son because she is no longer able to make decisions for herself. But she isn't ready to allow me to be POA for my father, her husband. All Dad needs to do is call his attorney and have the document changed, and she would never know, but for now, it will remain the way she wants it. I realize she just doesn't want to be eliminated from decision-making, and she wouldn't because I always confer with her. Perhaps in her mind the change of POA would mean the marriage is dissolved. It's hard to know what she's thinking. I didn't like that Dad said to her face that she's mentally incompetent. She knows that, but who wants to be told that?
Another challenging subject was confusion over the the Will versus the POA. I tried to explain that the POA confers decision-making rights to one person only (either my step-mother or me, not both) when the subject (my Dad) is still living; and the Will - where I am designated as the Alternate Executrix after my step-mother - confers the obligation to carry out Dad's wishes after his death. Dad got angry and yelled at me, "You think you know everything." He kept trying to tell me that his Will gives me Power of Attorney now, but that's not what the Will says. And on his written instruction sheet he has handwritten that I have POA, but it's not a legal document because it's not signed, witnessed or dated and it's not accepted by financial institutions. I did study basic law in university, but that doesn't make me an expert so I kept my mouth shut. I let the matter go because it's not worth his getting so upset. I'll just deal with things as best I can as events occur.
Now I have copies of the critical documents and a key to his storage locker. But the upshot of all of this is: he feels I should remain in Erie until....
That means I must remain here indefinitely instead of executing my plan to travel to see North Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas.
Maybe it's best.
Naturally, this is a difficult discussion at the best of times: talking about when he will die. He feels it will be soon, I think it will be several years. He's doing pretty well, getting around, getting groceries, getting the mail and going to dinner in the dining hall. His comprehension is slow, but at 90 that's to be expected. I think he'll be around for quite a while yet.
I was trying to explain that without Power of Attorney I can't step in and make decisions about his finances - there was a problem with his bank account that I couldn't fix - or his health when he is hospitalized. His wife still has Power of Attorney for him and she doesn't want to relinquish it. I'm not sure what she is thinking since she has given Power of Attorney over her affairs to her eldest son because she is no longer able to make decisions for herself. But she isn't ready to allow me to be POA for my father, her husband. All Dad needs to do is call his attorney and have the document changed, and she would never know, but for now, it will remain the way she wants it. I realize she just doesn't want to be eliminated from decision-making, and she wouldn't because I always confer with her. Perhaps in her mind the change of POA would mean the marriage is dissolved. It's hard to know what she's thinking. I didn't like that Dad said to her face that she's mentally incompetent. She knows that, but who wants to be told that?
Another challenging subject was confusion over the the Will versus the POA. I tried to explain that the POA confers decision-making rights to one person only (either my step-mother or me, not both) when the subject (my Dad) is still living; and the Will - where I am designated as the Alternate Executrix after my step-mother - confers the obligation to carry out Dad's wishes after his death. Dad got angry and yelled at me, "You think you know everything." He kept trying to tell me that his Will gives me Power of Attorney now, but that's not what the Will says. And on his written instruction sheet he has handwritten that I have POA, but it's not a legal document because it's not signed, witnessed or dated and it's not accepted by financial institutions. I did study basic law in university, but that doesn't make me an expert so I kept my mouth shut. I let the matter go because it's not worth his getting so upset. I'll just deal with things as best I can as events occur.
Now I have copies of the critical documents and a key to his storage locker. But the upshot of all of this is: he feels I should remain in Erie until....
That means I must remain here indefinitely instead of executing my plan to travel to see North Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas.
Maybe it's best.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Hopes dashed
Last night I received a phone message and email from a lady out-of-state who told me she needed someone to clear out a family member's home - a hoarder - and ready it for sale and contacted me on a referral from someone who found my website, Handy Ande. I confirmed that I will work with hoarders. So to get started I gave her some advice and local contacts she needed before contracting with me to do the work. I figured if I showed her how helpful and motivated I am she would seal the deal before March 1.
As a result I was in high spirits for the first time in a very long time. This would mean someone thought me worthy of hiring, a big project in my realm of competency, a reason to get out of bed in the morning, an income, and a place to park for the duration of the project. I spent a few hours exchanging emails with her instead of packing for tomorrow's loading, but it was for a good cause.
Then... she followed up with an email that broke my heart. She thanked me for all the advice, that she didn't want me to go by the house and check it from the outside, that she had friends who would do that, that she would take it from here. And goodbye. I was crushed.
From what I could figure out, from re-reading her emails, she thought I was a licensed realtor who would do all the clearing out, junk removal, cleaning and sanitizing, storage of useful items, painting, repairing, staging with rented furniture, advertising and selling for the standard realtor's commission. I know that won't happen. No realtor in this area will do it for a pittance.
First of all, the home in its present state isn't worth $100,000. It's a stigmatized property that nobody will even look at unless considerable work is done first. Even if it could sell for $100,000 the agent's commission would only be $1500, far less than that after the costs of advertising, office expenses paid to the broker, etc. No agent is going to do a month's work, plus sell it, for $1000 or less.
I can tell you what will happen because it has happened before many times to me. She will later discover that I was the best person to handle this challenge and she will come back to me after others have disappointed her and she has wasted time and money trying to find someone who will do it cheap, but poorly. They always come back to me after they have hurt my feelings to ask if I will do it for nothing or for dirt cheap.
I won't. I take these things personally. Insult me or treat me as less than the professional I am and you've lost me. I don't do well having my hopes raised and then dashed. Once the damage has been done, I can't summon up the interest to do the work at any price.
It's not about ego; it's about not being kind or considerate of another person's feelings and circumstances. I won't work for people who feel entitled to slave labor from me. Another story for my book.
As a result I was in high spirits for the first time in a very long time. This would mean someone thought me worthy of hiring, a big project in my realm of competency, a reason to get out of bed in the morning, an income, and a place to park for the duration of the project. I spent a few hours exchanging emails with her instead of packing for tomorrow's loading, but it was for a good cause.
Then... she followed up with an email that broke my heart. She thanked me for all the advice, that she didn't want me to go by the house and check it from the outside, that she had friends who would do that, that she would take it from here. And goodbye. I was crushed.
From what I could figure out, from re-reading her emails, she thought I was a licensed realtor who would do all the clearing out, junk removal, cleaning and sanitizing, storage of useful items, painting, repairing, staging with rented furniture, advertising and selling for the standard realtor's commission. I know that won't happen. No realtor in this area will do it for a pittance.
First of all, the home in its present state isn't worth $100,000. It's a stigmatized property that nobody will even look at unless considerable work is done first. Even if it could sell for $100,000 the agent's commission would only be $1500, far less than that after the costs of advertising, office expenses paid to the broker, etc. No agent is going to do a month's work, plus sell it, for $1000 or less.
I can tell you what will happen because it has happened before many times to me. She will later discover that I was the best person to handle this challenge and she will come back to me after others have disappointed her and she has wasted time and money trying to find someone who will do it cheap, but poorly. They always come back to me after they have hurt my feelings to ask if I will do it for nothing or for dirt cheap.
I won't. I take these things personally. Insult me or treat me as less than the professional I am and you've lost me. I don't do well having my hopes raised and then dashed. Once the damage has been done, I can't summon up the interest to do the work at any price.
It's not about ego; it's about not being kind or considerate of another person's feelings and circumstances. I won't work for people who feel entitled to slave labor from me. Another story for my book.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Day of Rest
I've been overdoing it. During the night and this morning I was in acute lower back pain, so much so that I could hardly walk and was literally in tears. Two Ibuprofen tablets and a heating pad were doing little, so I have spent the day (so far) in bed watching HGTV and keeping hydrated. Casper has been sleeping at my feet; I think he knows I'm not doing well today. Twelve hours later the pain has subsided only a little, not enough for me to do any physical work today.
Depression has been setting in. Actually the feeling is more a mixture of overwhelm, anxiety, fear of the unknown, and a feeling that I don't have a sense of where I belong. First, I'm realizing I need moving help. About all I can do is get everything packed and labeled. I really need to delegate the moving to others. I don't know exactly how this will come about, but I'll find a way.
My hope is that if I take it easy today I may be able to get all the packing done tomorrow, and quite a bit of the moving on Saturday and Sunday, the only days when the weather is expected to be sunny.
Depression has been setting in. Actually the feeling is more a mixture of overwhelm, anxiety, fear of the unknown, and a feeling that I don't have a sense of where I belong. First, I'm realizing I need moving help. About all I can do is get everything packed and labeled. I really need to delegate the moving to others. I don't know exactly how this will come about, but I'll find a way.
My hope is that if I take it easy today I may be able to get all the packing done tomorrow, and quite a bit of the moving on Saturday and Sunday, the only days when the weather is expected to be sunny.
Casper is home
and he's eating like a horse. Must be the painkillers making him ravenous. He has 2 little stitches below each eye and he is no longer squinting with his right eye. He's back to his old tricks calling me through the night, walking in front of me to slow me and trip me. And he's as demanding as ever. But he's home and healthy.
Now I need to put my attention on how Casper and I will stay warm in my van. Candles and propane scare me and electricity seems to be a non-option.
Now I need to put my attention on how Casper and I will stay warm in my van. Candles and propane scare me and electricity seems to be a non-option.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
House and Pet Sitting
Last night I registered as a housesitter at Housecarers.com. (Click on the title above to read my profile.) This is my second time as a member.
If you would like me to look after your home and cats and/or dogs in your absence, it will cost you nothing. I can housesit anywhere in the US or Canada, but will give preference to those places that are not a great distance for now. I still need to access my storage unit.
You receive a free service from me, and Casper and I have a warm place to stay for free and electricity to be able to write. I'll be the only one writing.
Casper comes with a big dog cage where he can be confined if necessary. He is up-to-date on his shots and tested negative for any fatal diseases.
So go on, take that long vacation you've been hesitating to take. I'll watch over your plants and precious pets, take in your mail, and keep your place occupied to keep the vandals and burglars away.
If you would like me to look after your home and cats and/or dogs in your absence, it will cost you nothing. I can housesit anywhere in the US or Canada, but will give preference to those places that are not a great distance for now. I still need to access my storage unit.
You receive a free service from me, and Casper and I have a warm place to stay for free and electricity to be able to write. I'll be the only one writing.
Casper comes with a big dog cage where he can be confined if necessary. He is up-to-date on his shots and tested negative for any fatal diseases.
So go on, take that long vacation you've been hesitating to take. I'll watch over your plants and precious pets, take in your mail, and keep your place occupied to keep the vandals and burglars away.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
While the cat's away
... I'm getting a lot done.
When Casper has to stay overnight at the animal hospital it's the only time I can get a full night's sleep. It's likely that he will stay overnight at the hospital tonight which means a full night's sleep for me. Hallelujah.
From experience I know that when Casper and I live in the van I will need to sleep on his schedule or I won't get enough sleep. That means cat naps through the day and night.
Last night he woke me dozens of times because he wanted food and I couldn't give him any after 8 PM. He jumped on my chest several times, sat on my neck, swatted my face with his tail, called me frequently from other rooms, and also went scavenging through piles of unpacked office supplies searching for errant bits of kibble. I was sleep-deprived, stiff and achey this morning. But when it was time to leave the house he was very good about getting into his carrier, which is unusual for him.
I've just made coordinating, red wool, plaid curtains for the van windows, and am just about to finish a teal flannel curtain for the door to close off the cabin, and matching flannel sheets. Those should keep us warm.
Next I'll pack the china and glassware, dismantle the bed, then work on my web site and get cracking on my crowdfunding. I have long realized that Casper inhibits my creativity. He is a very narcissistic, demanding cat who interrupts my writing about every ten to fifteen minutes. So I'm making the most of this 24 hour period. Who knows when it will come again?
When Casper has to stay overnight at the animal hospital it's the only time I can get a full night's sleep. It's likely that he will stay overnight at the hospital tonight which means a full night's sleep for me. Hallelujah.
From experience I know that when Casper and I live in the van I will need to sleep on his schedule or I won't get enough sleep. That means cat naps through the day and night.
Last night he woke me dozens of times because he wanted food and I couldn't give him any after 8 PM. He jumped on my chest several times, sat on my neck, swatted my face with his tail, called me frequently from other rooms, and also went scavenging through piles of unpacked office supplies searching for errant bits of kibble. I was sleep-deprived, stiff and achey this morning. But when it was time to leave the house he was very good about getting into his carrier, which is unusual for him.
I've just made coordinating, red wool, plaid curtains for the van windows, and am just about to finish a teal flannel curtain for the door to close off the cabin, and matching flannel sheets. Those should keep us warm.
Next I'll pack the china and glassware, dismantle the bed, then work on my web site and get cracking on my crowdfunding. I have long realized that Casper inhibits my creativity. He is a very narcissistic, demanding cat who interrupts my writing about every ten to fifteen minutes. So I'm making the most of this 24 hour period. Who knows when it will come again?
Monday, February 15, 2010
My U-Haul Storage Unit
Pain
I was worried that my weekend snow shoveling would result in pain and it has. This isn't muscle pain from exertion so much as it is kidney stone movement. I'm taking two extra strength acetaminophen tablets every 5 hours. I got up at 4:30 AM to take more because the pain kept me awake. Because I wanted to avoid this pain I had asked management for some help and they refused. This pain was preventable, but management has no compassion and for some reason wants to continue to act like a bully, even though they know that I am documenting their actions in photos and words in this blog for their current and prospective tenants to see.
But my concern, on this first day of moving things to my storage unit, is how I will manage the pain and the daily dragging, lifting, carrying and pushing perhaps 200 heavy items over the next 13 days. The task seems daunting for a woman my age. Last year when I moved in to this apartment I said I would never again do all the moving myself. I intended to stay in this apartment for a long time... at least until I could get my life back on track and start to earn income again so I could afford to hire movers. Sadly, I can't stay where I'm treated so badly, and without income I am once again in a position where I have to depend on myself to move my things.
Landmark Square Apartments has taught me that if you ask for something completely within reason in Erie Pennsylvania you will not only be refused, or ignored, but treated like dirt for asking. What will drive me from now on is knowing that I am getting away from mean-spirited people.
I'd appreciate any prayers you can offer to reduce this pain so I can get through the next two weeks.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Moving Mountains (of snow)
How can I get a washer and dryer into my van (by myself) - let alone more than 100 heavy boxes - with this mound of snow in the way?
I asked management on Thursday for a cut-away so I could start loading my van on Monday. They told me they don't want me to pull my van up on the sidewalk; but, that's exactly what they asked me to do when I moved in! Now they tell me I have to use the tiny cut-away path they improved upon - which I created myself a few weeks earlier for my neighbors who walked their dogs and who had to carry groceries from their cars parked across the street - which is NOT in front of my steps. AND management insists I must ask the city if I may park on the other side of the street when loading my van.
This is passive-aggressive behavior... again. This is no way to treat good tenants who are quiet, obey the rules and pay rent on time every time. (New tenants, be forewarned: once you live here you will be treated as if you were bad children.)
And yes, the property manager knows that I'm writing a book about people who do exactly what she is doing instead of showing kindness and compassion... when offered a choice.
Oh, and the small cut-away that management acquiesced to? To be able to access my van's three side doors from it would have meant that my van would block the fire hydrant for hours at a time. Brilliant. (At least they did remove the snow from the hydrant.)If Landmark Square Apartments could make two cut-aways around the fire hydrant after I asked for one for me, why not one big cut-away at the bottom of my steps as well? But that would show kindness and consideration for someone who has contributed to their salaries for a year, wouldn't it?
Friday, February 12, 2010
Casper's Surgery
Dr. Palumbo is willing to fit Casper's surgery in on Tuesday so he can convalesce in a warm apartment while we still have it. This photo is a not-so-awful look at his right eye. It's actually worse now. You can see that the hair on his lower lid is irritating his eye ball. It's a medical condition called entropion. If the surgery isn't done soon the hair can scrape his corneas.
He's having both eyes done on Tuesday the 16th. It's not cosmetic surgery like a blepheroplasty; it's corrective... and will cost me about $300 in addition to the cost of today's visit. (Now I need to raise more money.)
As his mom, I worry about him having surgery and being put under at his age - 13.5 years old - and will be a nervous nelly until I can bring him home. Following will be a week of trying to keep him from scratching at the stitches and also giving him eye ointment. Not so easy when I'll be moving things to the storage unit daily. On the day of his surgery I will be making red plaid, wool privacy curtains for the van. Measuring, cutting and sewing should keep me occupied.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Worrying...
Things on my mind this week:
- How will I get everything packed by Monday?
- Will I be able to dig the van out of the snow in the parking lot?
- Where will I be able to park my van at my front door every day to fill it now that there is a tall snow mound where I'm supposed to park it so I'm not blocking traffic?
- Will it keep snowing every day that I'm trying to move my things out of the apartment?
- Will I be able to fill my van by myself without having more kidney stone attacks?
- Will Casper need surgery on his eye before we move out?
- How will we stay warm after we move out?
- Where will we go on the night of Feb. 28.
- Where will we go after that?
- Will Casper keep me awake all night long in the van?
- Will someone buy my old computer so I'll have 4 fewer heavy loads to take to the van?
- Will someone take my heavy Ikea table so I won't have to lift and carry it.
- Will Time-Warner really charge me a $150 penalty for canceling services?
- How will I manage to keep doctor appointments if I have to leave Casper in the cold while I wait inside?
- Where will we get electricity at night to keep warm?
- Where will we get water to wash dishes and keep clean?
- Will I be so exhausted and sore from moving my things that cleaning the apartment is too painful?
- Should we head to Arkansas, Louisiana, Florida, Texas for a few months?
- Should we return to Toronto for the summer?
- How will I earn money again now that I'll be free to work?
- Where would I feel welcome?
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
My wish list
I'd be grateful to receive any of the following in exchange for your name on my web site as one of my angels. Or you can be anonymous if you choose... just use the mailing address I've posted in the sidebar. Gift cards can be purchased in many stores, including WalMart.
- Grocery store gift cards: Wegman's, Giant Eagle, Zehrs, Top's, WalMart.
- Gas company gift cards: Country Fair, Get Go (Giant Eagle), Kwik Fill.
- Restaurant gift cards: Perkins, Denny's KFC, Taco Bell, McDonald's, Wendy's, Burger King, Tim Horton's. (Remember Casper can't come in and I can't leave him in the heat or cold for more than 5-10 minutes.)
- TracFone airtime cards for my prepaid wireless phone.
- Showers ($10 each) at TravelCenters of America and Pilot Travel Centers
- AARP membership
- National Writers Union Membership
- 2400 early book buyers
- Invitations to speak to corporations, conventions, conferences.
- Invitations to housesit and pet sit.
- Invitations to write columns.
- Press and media interviews to promote the book crowdfunding and publication.
- Speakers who would like representation.
- Invitations to park in church, office, corporation parking lots (with a little water and electricity) in exchange for night watchman duties.
- Invitations to share a meal. (Smoke-free environments please).
My crowd-funded book
I'm seeking funds from up to 2400 individuals and companies who will support my book writing and publishing project based on my 14 year experience of starting over after a home invasion in my bed and breakfast and subsequent change of status in my community after putting the man in jail.
Your investment of $24 today gets you:
1. A finished copy of my book. Working title: The Kindness Experiment or The Generosity Experiment, and
2. A substantial share of the book's profits, and
3. Credit in the book and on my web site as a patron by name, and
4. Access to a patrons-only forum (not yet established).
If I sell an additional 10,000 additional copies of my book, early buyers will receive double their money back... and keep the book of course. Patrons may also receive a percentage of the profits from spin-off services from the book: such as paid speaking and column writing assignments.
Two units have been sold officially, so 2398 units are still available. The early sales campaign will end when all units are sold or April 30, whichever comes first.
My goal is to raise $57,000 (gross) so I can live frugally over two years (under $500 a month) as I write the book, cover production expenses, and promote the book through a variety of ways.
There are a dozen or more ways you can support what I'm doing.
Your investment of $24 today gets you:
1. A finished copy of my book. Working title: The Kindness Experiment or The Generosity Experiment, and
2. A substantial share of the book's profits, and
3. Credit in the book and on my web site as a patron by name, and
4. Access to a patrons-only forum (not yet established).
If I sell an additional 10,000 additional copies of my book, early buyers will receive double their money back... and keep the book of course. Patrons may also receive a percentage of the profits from spin-off services from the book: such as paid speaking and column writing assignments.
Two units have been sold officially, so 2398 units are still available. The early sales campaign will end when all units are sold or April 30, whichever comes first.
My goal is to raise $57,000 (gross) so I can live frugally over two years (under $500 a month) as I write the book, cover production expenses, and promote the book through a variety of ways.
There are a dozen or more ways you can support what I'm doing.
Monday, February 8, 2010
My moving plan
Now until Feb. 27: Continue to sell and give away big things.
Feb. 9: Notify post office and utilities of cut-off date and forwarding address.
Feb. 10-14: Pack and label all my stuff into easy-carry storage bins and move it all to the living room.
Feb. 15: Take "possession" of the storage unit already reserved for me and empty current contents of my van into it.
Feb. 15: Take over my plastic shelf units onto which I can place smaller boxes. Arrange boxes in "rooms" so I can find things easily.
Feb. 16-26: Take over 1-2 van loads a day, accepting help when it's offered, between 7 AM and 7 PM.
Feb. 27: Put things back in van that I'll live with.
Feb. 28: Clean/vacuum apartment and load up any items still left like microwave, toaster oven, etc. Drop off keys to management office. Take extra items to storage.
Feb. 28: Spend the night somewhere?
Feb. 9: Notify post office and utilities of cut-off date and forwarding address.
Feb. 10-14: Pack and label all my stuff into easy-carry storage bins and move it all to the living room.
Feb. 15: Take "possession" of the storage unit already reserved for me and empty current contents of my van into it.
Feb. 15: Take over my plastic shelf units onto which I can place smaller boxes. Arrange boxes in "rooms" so I can find things easily.
Feb. 16-26: Take over 1-2 van loads a day, accepting help when it's offered, between 7 AM and 7 PM.
Feb. 27: Put things back in van that I'll live with.
Feb. 28: Clean/vacuum apartment and load up any items still left like microwave, toaster oven, etc. Drop off keys to management office. Take extra items to storage.
Feb. 28: Spend the night somewhere?
Dad turns 90
... tomorrow. He will likely be celebrating with his friends in the complex and step-children from his other marriages. I am never invited to these events - like birthdays, weddings, Christmas or Thanksgiving - because, as my father said it so succinctly ten years ago: "You're not family; you're just offspring." I'm his only child, but he hates my mother and I'm a constant reminder of her. He has liked his other three wives and their children, and taught them all to dislike me.
So now that I'm no longer useful to him because of my own health issues (kidney stones), he doesn't bother to communicate with me. He has "volunteers" as he calls them. They aren't volunteers they are women helpers paid by the retirement complex. I actually applied to be employed as one of them in November, but was rejected. They won't hire a smart, mature woman with a degree in home economics, but they will hire a 17 year old who doesn't know how to make soup out of can. (I had to teach her.)
I have no idea whether he got someone to drive him to Pittsburgh last week. It's a three-hour drive each way and because my kidney stone still hasn't passed, sitting and highway riding are very uncomfortable for me. And having to keep hydrating and peeing every 15-20 minutes makes for a lot of stops. I've often had to go 7 hours without a "pit stop"when taking Dad to doctor appointments, treatments and hospital tests because he doesn't allow time for bathroom breaks.
And when Dad never says hello, goodbye or thank you to me, I feel unappreciated. So, I think, after 18 months it's time for me to stop putting my life on hold and take my life back. I'm sending Dad a birthday card today, but will wait until next week to tell him I'm moving out and planning to start my life over somewhere else. Without friends or family here, it's time to stop trying to look after him, but look after myself.
So now that I'm no longer useful to him because of my own health issues (kidney stones), he doesn't bother to communicate with me. He has "volunteers" as he calls them. They aren't volunteers they are women helpers paid by the retirement complex. I actually applied to be employed as one of them in November, but was rejected. They won't hire a smart, mature woman with a degree in home economics, but they will hire a 17 year old who doesn't know how to make soup out of can. (I had to teach her.)
I have no idea whether he got someone to drive him to Pittsburgh last week. It's a three-hour drive each way and because my kidney stone still hasn't passed, sitting and highway riding are very uncomfortable for me. And having to keep hydrating and peeing every 15-20 minutes makes for a lot of stops. I've often had to go 7 hours without a "pit stop"when taking Dad to doctor appointments, treatments and hospital tests because he doesn't allow time for bathroom breaks.
And when Dad never says hello, goodbye or thank you to me, I feel unappreciated. So, I think, after 18 months it's time for me to stop putting my life on hold and take my life back. I'm sending Dad a birthday card today, but will wait until next week to tell him I'm moving out and planning to start my life over somewhere else. Without friends or family here, it's time to stop trying to look after him, but look after myself.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Speakers are funny
At least once a day I hear from a speaker I've never heard of. I receive a nice introduction about what phenomenal speakers they are, how much money they deserve, and how intelligent they are; but they never say why they are contacting me. I ask.
Do they want my advice? Do they want me to congratulate them and tell them I think they are as wonderful as they tell me? Do they want me to publicize them so they get more of the adulation they crave? Do they want me to send them something? Do they want me to represent them? I don't know.
Sometimes I think they believe I own a speaker's bureau. I don't. I own a public relations firm (since 1979) and I negotiate bigger fees and contract terms for my clients. (I will help a non-client speaker if she wants assistance with a contract negotiation.) And if they are as intelligent as they claim they already will have spent time at my web site to see that before they contact me.
If they are brilliant they will contact me to hire me. If they are not representation-worthy they will do four things:
1. They will not bother to read through my web site.
2. They will not have the good manners to reply to my response.
3. They will not give me the information I need, in the form I ask for, to determine if I will want to work with them.
4. They will not hire me to help them generate high-paying speaking engagements nor ask me to increase their contract fees and terms.
Time after time, I write a reply never to hear from them again... except to be bombarded forever after with their emails, telling me something else wonderful about them. When this happens I just delete them, but I remember who they are.... and that's not a good thing.
Do they want my advice? Do they want me to congratulate them and tell them I think they are as wonderful as they tell me? Do they want me to publicize them so they get more of the adulation they crave? Do they want me to send them something? Do they want me to represent them? I don't know.
Sometimes I think they believe I own a speaker's bureau. I don't. I own a public relations firm (since 1979) and I negotiate bigger fees and contract terms for my clients. (I will help a non-client speaker if she wants assistance with a contract negotiation.) And if they are as intelligent as they claim they already will have spent time at my web site to see that before they contact me.
If they are brilliant they will contact me to hire me. If they are not representation-worthy they will do four things:
1. They will not bother to read through my web site.
2. They will not have the good manners to reply to my response.
3. They will not give me the information I need, in the form I ask for, to determine if I will want to work with them.
4. They will not hire me to help them generate high-paying speaking engagements nor ask me to increase their contract fees and terms.
Time after time, I write a reply never to hear from them again... except to be bombarded forever after with their emails, telling me something else wonderful about them. When this happens I just delete them, but I remember who they are.... and that's not a good thing.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Praise for Erie U-Haul
It just keeps getting better.
U-Haul knows how to treat customers. They could teach Landmark Square Apartments a few lessons in civility, kindness and generosity.
A week or so ago, the deal they offered me on a 12 x 28 foot storage unit was: pay for the first month, get the second month for $10. Today they said the deal had expired. I was about to complain but the gentleman quickly said it's now: First month free, second month at the regular price. So in addition to saving quite a bit, today I saved $10 more.
So, for $185 (including tax) for the first two months I get a large storage unit that has two florescent light fixtures, an on-off switch, and two electric outlets. That means I can recharge my laptop and cell phone or power box at the same time. Plus there is a security alarm system for protection. The floors are urethaned (no floor stains) the lanes are concrete (no gravel to track inside) and I can have 24 hour access. And there is a dumpster outside for refuse. Their office is a big store where I could buy any tools I need. I already have my own locks.
While I don't intend to sleep in the unit - they didn't say I couldn't, but I didn't ask either - during the day I could make a cup of tea in my tiny microwave, shred old files, write and print out business letters, and do my taxes. It is usually pretty cold in February and March, but with my brand new room heater, I could warm it up for a few hours a day that I'd be there.
The U-Haul man even gave me the exact unit I had decided I wanted before I got there... without even asking. Things just go right when they are meant to be. I will start moving my things there on the 15th.
U-Haul knows how to treat customers. They could teach Landmark Square Apartments a few lessons in civility, kindness and generosity.
A week or so ago, the deal they offered me on a 12 x 28 foot storage unit was: pay for the first month, get the second month for $10. Today they said the deal had expired. I was about to complain but the gentleman quickly said it's now: First month free, second month at the regular price. So in addition to saving quite a bit, today I saved $10 more.
So, for $185 (including tax) for the first two months I get a large storage unit that has two florescent light fixtures, an on-off switch, and two electric outlets. That means I can recharge my laptop and cell phone or power box at the same time. Plus there is a security alarm system for protection. The floors are urethaned (no floor stains) the lanes are concrete (no gravel to track inside) and I can have 24 hour access. And there is a dumpster outside for refuse. Their office is a big store where I could buy any tools I need. I already have my own locks.
While I don't intend to sleep in the unit - they didn't say I couldn't, but I didn't ask either - during the day I could make a cup of tea in my tiny microwave, shred old files, write and print out business letters, and do my taxes. It is usually pretty cold in February and March, but with my brand new room heater, I could warm it up for a few hours a day that I'd be there.
The U-Haul man even gave me the exact unit I had decided I wanted before I got there... without even asking. Things just go right when they are meant to be. I will start moving my things there on the 15th.
Van Dwelling Advantages
Today is the fourth day in a row I have had to endure hammering, shouting, drilling, sawing, tobacco smoke, and toxic fumes (volatile organic compounds) for 8-9 hours a day, from management's employees on the other side of my wall. So I wrote this list of advantages of living in a van over living in an apartment.
1. If there is tobacco smoke or toxic fumes that makes me ill, I can turn my key in the ignition and drive away.
2. If there is shouting, hammering, or construction noise that disrupts my ability to think, write, and earn a living, I can drive away.
3. My rent will be reduced from $810 a month to $180 a month (for self-storage).
4. I can eliminate a monthly cable bill of $132 (digital phone, Internet and TV) by using MagicJack, prepaid cell phone, free Wifi, and a small TV with a converter box and antenna.
5. I can eliminate my $50 a month electric bill by paying friends per kilowatt hour for using their power at night to keep warm and recharging my power box, laptop, and cell phone at my storage unit. And I will have a solar panel to recharge my power box, a solar-powered radio and 2 solar lights.
6. I can eliminate a $200 a month heating bill in the winter by driving south where it's warmer.
7. I'll be living below my means - under $500 a month - and will save $900 a month or more in rent and utilities. And hopefully, I'll be able to pay off debts faster and start saving for retirement.
8. There will be no more pet fees - $500 a year - to pay a landlord (for what?): $200 non-refundable deposit and $25 a month additional rent for one cat.
9. There will be no more maintenance crew standing outside my window shouting, dropping cigarette butts on the ground and leaving garbage on porches... which tenants are fined for if they do it. (Double-standard.)
10. I will be living in a small space - 9 feet x 5 feet - which means consolidating and compacting what I own to live efficiently. This means eliminating the unnecessary, preventing impulsive purchases, hoarding and excessive consumer consumption.
11. I won't have to feel like I'm living in a fishbowl - 17 windows in this apartment. I'll be able to feel invisible, because most people don't realize I'm inside the van and I can write without being disturbed.
12. When I am invited to speak somewhere, I can interchange a few things in the van with things in storage (stool, podium, white board) and I'm on my way, lickety-split.
Not bad, eh? Can you think of any more?
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
$100 a day
Management is hammering and banging next door again. Looks like they are laying new carpeting for an anticipated new tenant. I can't complain about renovation, I guess, as it won't last forever. It's ironic that they had no money to make my wet basement safe and habitable but they have money to renovate the empty apartment. Makes me feel that I'm a second-class tenant. Would that be sexism or age-ism?
But the smoke from management's employees is making me sick. It's making me so nauseous that I can't eat breakfast. It's wafting into my basement from large holes in my basement walls, circulating through my heating system and rising up the stairs to my kitchen through the louvred door. I complained yesterday, and either management did nothing to stop the smoke or they have no control over their employees.
Why must paying tenants be at the mercy of workers who receive their salary from tenants' rent?
So I emailed Landmark Square Apartments management and said that from yesterday on I would charge $100 a day for the aggravation from smoke. They think they are going to charge me for steam cleaning the carpets in my unit, but since it wasn't done before I moved in, I see no reason to pay for carpet cleaning.
We'll see what happens. I'm always prepared to go to court and will be able to show up with emails of correspondence and photos.
But the smoke from management's employees is making me sick. It's making me so nauseous that I can't eat breakfast. It's wafting into my basement from large holes in my basement walls, circulating through my heating system and rising up the stairs to my kitchen through the louvred door. I complained yesterday, and either management did nothing to stop the smoke or they have no control over their employees.
Why must paying tenants be at the mercy of workers who receive their salary from tenants' rent?
So I emailed Landmark Square Apartments management and said that from yesterday on I would charge $100 a day for the aggravation from smoke. They think they are going to charge me for steam cleaning the carpets in my unit, but since it wasn't done before I moved in, I see no reason to pay for carpet cleaning.
We'll see what happens. I'm always prepared to go to court and will be able to show up with emails of correspondence and photos.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Dr. Kinsey
This made me feel ancient.
Dr. Kinsey was my pediatrician. Today his great granddaughter and her little girl were in my living room. She is buying my sofa, loveseat and coffee table.
I really think that if it weren't for Dr. Kinsey I might not have thrived as a baby and grown to be an adult. So it gives me pleasure to hand over my living room furniture to his descendants.
I really think that if it weren't for Dr. Kinsey I might not have thrived as a baby and grown to be an adult. So it gives me pleasure to hand over my living room furniture to his descendants.
Childish Landlord
Today is the first of the month and the property manager probably read my notice of vacating in 30 days and my request to have my security deposit applied to my last month's rent. But there has been no response... of course.
So at 8 AM I hear shouting and pounding next door in the empty apartment (which has been vacant for 4 months). Then I smell cigarette smoke wafting into my apartment. Management's maintenance crew is smoking and it's coming through the large holes in the basement wall between the two apartments and into my first and second floors. I know who it is because they shout when they speak as if they are hearing impaired.
Smoke has been a primary issue for me. I said before I signed the lease that I needed a smoke-free environment because I have respiratory restriction when I am around the residue of cigarette smoke. I discovered after moving in that the previous tenant was an employee of the management company, had free rent plus a salary for several years, and "smoked like a chimney" according to the current maintenance workers. The Landlord simply spray-painted over years of accumulated tar and nicotine. Paint doesn't remove toxicity and carcinogens! In my bathroom you can see hundreds of yellow streaks of nicotine all over the walls and sink area. They are sticky to the touch.
I've asked management what they were prepared to do to keep me as a loyal tenant and there has been no response. However, they have erected huge banners at two street corners announcing, "Now Leasing" and "Free Rent."
Yes, that's right. They are offering free rent to attract new tenants, but they are doing nothing to keep good tenants they already have! And now they are deliberately making my last month here unpleasant. Now I have a kidney stone that isn't passing, a sore and bruised hip from the icy parking lot they won't salt or sand, a wrenched shoulder from that same fall, a cough and throat constriction from 11 months of living with toxins, and now nausea from the smoke. (You already know about the unsafe basement and the slippery porch floor because they refused to use no-slip paint on the warping floor boards that had no expansion gaps.)
I offered them a year of my public relations services to help them attract fabulous tenants for only a month's rent. Not only can Landmark Square not comprehend the gift I offered them and refused to acknowledge the gift, but now they are being childishly passive-aggressive during my last four weeks that I paid for.
And did I mention, they insisted I pay 4 months in advance before I moved in? Why do they want to lose a good tenant like me?
This is exactly what my book, The Generosity Experiment, is about: working against your own best interests when someone wants to help you achieve what you want.
And yes, the property manager knew about the premise of my book from Day One. What can I tell you?
So at 8 AM I hear shouting and pounding next door in the empty apartment (which has been vacant for 4 months). Then I smell cigarette smoke wafting into my apartment. Management's maintenance crew is smoking and it's coming through the large holes in the basement wall between the two apartments and into my first and second floors. I know who it is because they shout when they speak as if they are hearing impaired.
Smoke has been a primary issue for me. I said before I signed the lease that I needed a smoke-free environment because I have respiratory restriction when I am around the residue of cigarette smoke. I discovered after moving in that the previous tenant was an employee of the management company, had free rent plus a salary for several years, and "smoked like a chimney" according to the current maintenance workers. The Landlord simply spray-painted over years of accumulated tar and nicotine. Paint doesn't remove toxicity and carcinogens! In my bathroom you can see hundreds of yellow streaks of nicotine all over the walls and sink area. They are sticky to the touch.
I've asked management what they were prepared to do to keep me as a loyal tenant and there has been no response. However, they have erected huge banners at two street corners announcing, "Now Leasing" and "Free Rent."
Yes, that's right. They are offering free rent to attract new tenants, but they are doing nothing to keep good tenants they already have! And now they are deliberately making my last month here unpleasant. Now I have a kidney stone that isn't passing, a sore and bruised hip from the icy parking lot they won't salt or sand, a wrenched shoulder from that same fall, a cough and throat constriction from 11 months of living with toxins, and now nausea from the smoke. (You already know about the unsafe basement and the slippery porch floor because they refused to use no-slip paint on the warping floor boards that had no expansion gaps.)
I offered them a year of my public relations services to help them attract fabulous tenants for only a month's rent. Not only can Landmark Square not comprehend the gift I offered them and refused to acknowledge the gift, but now they are being childishly passive-aggressive during my last four weeks that I paid for.
And did I mention, they insisted I pay 4 months in advance before I moved in? Why do they want to lose a good tenant like me?
This is exactly what my book, The Generosity Experiment, is about: working against your own best interests when someone wants to help you achieve what you want.
And yes, the property manager knew about the premise of my book from Day One. What can I tell you?
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